Have you ever asked yourself, “Why do I attract fake friends”? Are you trying to figure out how to get rid of fake friends? In this article we’ll go over the several different ways to spot a fake friend a mile away also known as a F.A.F. We’ll talk about fake friends that you already have and fake friends that you are in process of getting to know and how to avoid them. Don’t worry I’ll protect you from the mental headaches and stress that comes with a fake friend. You’ll thank me later.
As an expert in this field, I can safely say I had my share of what I like to call, F.A.F’s.
One great way to spot a fake friend is by avoiding being vulnerable. We’ll get into that one later.
After the end of this article you’ll have a complete understanding of what makes a fake friend, how to not expose yourself to fakes, and how to keep 1,000 feet away from them. I’ll show you how to set up invisible boundaries that serve as restraining orders where both people are on the same page. Be sure to take notes. Now let’s dive right in.
Table of Contents
First things first…
How to avoid fake friends
In general, is by protecting your phone number. Now what do I mean by this? Often times we struggle with the idea of giving away our number to people because we like making new friends.
We like the idea of having a new contact in our phone, or the idea of someone new to talk to when the moment strikes, or the feeling of being able to do something new in your life by messaging or calling a friend.
Or even the feeling of being a little bit safer than before knowing that you have a resource that you can reach out to or a connection that can get you out of trouble. This is bad thinking.
Here is the problem with adding new contacts to your phone without a filter. It leaves more opportunities for people to fall extremely short to your standards of what a friend means to you.
When a friend falls extremely short of your standards, that is what I like to call, a F.A.F , also known as a Fake Ass Friend, or being Fake as Fuck, excuse my French.
Depending on the context of what they are doing, or how they are being, you can use these two interchangeably. This F.A.F word is completely made up by me by the way, so if you ever hear anyone saying it, it is because they know me or they read my blog and you two should definitely become friends!
You see most people have their own ambitions which are never the same as yours which is why giving out your number to so many people will kill your daily vibes, and increase your stress levels and deteriorate your mental health in the long run.
With understanding this fact, the reality is you must stop giving out your number. However, most cases, it is inevitable to give it out. Or you may feel it is a good idea at the time based on who you met or what the circumstances were. If you have to give away your number then I will give you my best tips on how to safely give it out and set the standard.
Let’s talk about the new generation’s expectations and how to call fake friends on their bullshit.
Setting Standards for Fake People
Here’s how your standards should be when making new friends and avoiding the fake ones. If you feel like its still a struggle take a look at how to build a strong guard to protect your mental health and sanity.
Filtering
Have a filter, with a purifying 10x distilling process for friends. Often times it is hard to filter out fakes because they are getting better every year with new ways of making it to your contact list. These folks are blood suckers that drain your peace, happiness and success.
A filter must be applied by setting super high standards for those who try to make the list or BE ALONE if they do not make the cut. One key for this is that you ensure you are in the right environment and have the right circumstances at all times.
Regulate
Ensure the person knows that you have high ass standards. If you have things that you like your real friends to do that made the best friends list; then you need to be clear about your intentions straight from the beginning.
Examples include, texting at least once or twice a month, setting up a date to meet once a month, or a minimum once out of the year, If you call and text then they must respond promptly and not days or hours later, if you plan on exchanging numbers then you need to also have their social media accounts also to solidify the friendship, etc.
These are just examples for me, but whatever your real friends do that make you happy then you need to ensure that is clear from the beginning.
Be First To Reach Out
Be the first to call and message the first time. This shows you have interest and you would like to start something. It is up to the other person to do the same the next time you talk and this should always continue until they hit the best friends list.
I call this the TeeterTotter effect or the SeeSaw game. Although it is not a game, it is the way life is.
If you were playing tennis with someone, each person must make a move, that is how the ball goes back and forth, or if you have ever been on a seesaw with a friend when you were little, each person one at a time must bounce up and down for the game to work effectively.
The same thing works in life, business, or friendships. If the other person doesn’t do their part, they were never a friend to begin with and is an indicator that they don’t want to play with you.
30 Day Rule
Give them the 30 day rule. If you exchange numbers, and there is no contact between you and them then you are to delete them, ASAP. So that way when they text you, you say “who is this”, this will ensure that the person who is messaging or is calling you knows that you are a serious person, and what you asked of them when you met, was serious. This also gives you peace of mind and reduces your stress.
The Mindset of Someone Fake
1.) Fake Friends talk about themselves mostly.
Most people only care about themselves and what they have to say. They believe what they have to say is more important or has more weight than what you have to say. It is a pure indicator of selfishness and a lack of communicational skills or care of the other person’s time to shine.
2.) Fake friends never message you first.
People have a tendency to always feel loved or noticed. Therefore they want to be called or messaged first to have that feeling or urge scratched. They are using you. This is a sign of immaturity or lack of commitment to help or please others.
3.) A fake friend always has their own ambitions.
Most people have a “what’s in it for me” mentality. They never want to help others unless they help them first. Most people want to cater to their own agenda first and fail to understand that life is about helping others get what they need so that they can get what they want. Be careful for these people.
4.) A fake friend likes to run the show.
Everyone likes to be a leader or show that they can lead in some way shape or form. Some like to lead more often than others. In this case, people who like to run the show, often times need to feel liked, loved or appreciated to have their urge of feeling like a leader tickled. They have their own motives and are not interested in yours. This is a form of being fake.
5.) A fake friend always likes to debate or argue their point in the nicest way possible.
People always have an opinion. It is okay to have an opinion on everything, what is not okay is to argue on everything. They must know when to digress because at that point it becomes about who knows more or who is better. Debating often, shows a sign of ignorance, arrogance or lack of respect to the other person. Not having the capability to accept ones opinions even if they are completely wrong is proof of immaturity. They are not ready to be your friend.
6.) A fake friend is one who buys you a gift without knowing you or for no special occasion.
These people are hard to find because not everyone is this caring. These people do mean well. However, often times this is a purchase to buy your friendship. Buying your friendship is a sign of weakness on their behalf which may show signs of vulnerability, desperation, or loneliness. These people tend to use you to get what they want, then move on when they do.
7.) A fake friend doesn’t add you on social media.
Not everyone may have social media. Even wore, not everyone may want to be seen on social media or even add you for a particular reason. This is because they are hiding something that they don’t want you to know. They wish to keep their life private. This shows that they are not willing to be open with you and show you for who they really are.
8.) A fake friend never lifts you up.
Everyone in the world loves to be lifted up high because we all have stresses and problems that kick us down. The problem is, not everyone is willing to be the one to do the uplifting because it requires a ton of energy and wisdom or experience. This kind of person is a prime indicator that illustrates weakness and lack of leadership which is a sheep in lions clothing. Fake.
9.) A fake friend never spends more than 5-10 minutes talking to you at any given time.
We know that life gets extremely busy. We live a very fast lifestyle where we are always on the go. By showing that they have little time for someone regardless of how much time they have also shows that they have little respect for the other person’s time and life. Also someone who doesn’t stay longer than 10 minutes around you, shows that they have an awkward social life which indicates fragility in their friend making skills. These people are to be watched.
10.) A fake friend responds to you late.
We live in a day and age where our phones, tablets, computers and now, smart watches are on us at all times or at least in arms reach with the sound NOT on silent.
All of us are addicted to receiving new messages especially when we see an unread, flashing, undeniable green, yellow or red notification symbol next to the message or missed call. We will always see, read, or listen to the message but never respond right away for whatever reason. Not doing so shows lack of respect for the person and a form of fakeness.
11.) A fake friend is late to everywhere you meet up with them.
Think about it. Anytime where you give automatic respect to someone is when you know it should be given, and you will do whatever it takes to do all things perfectly, which proves you not to be fake, or does it?
In this case, when someone is late to anywhere you have planned, they are showing you a lack of respect to you and your time as well as interest in what you wish to do. Most people make it early to anywhere of importance when they are trying to prove to someone that they are real and dependable, if they can’t do that for you then this is a fair warning and you should definitely avoid this fake person.
12.) A fake friend asks you for favors way too much.
Let’s be honest, we all need things. We also always need a favor from someone because we simply don’t have everything or can’t do everything in the world. So we need help.
But someone who constantly abuses this kind gesture is someone who has no curtesy of your feelings, time, and resources. It is ignorance at its finest, and this in the long run will cause more harm and more mental stress and unhealthy habits for the relationship.
13.) A fake friend never offers help.
Helpful people are the greatest people on the planet. We can spot a helpful person a mile away. However, we also can spot an unhelpful person 2 miles way. This person is seen as oblivious to pleasing people and instead, seeks to be pleased.
Trying to please this kind of person by being their friend is a sure way to getting your feelings hurt and feeling like you are not enough in this world because this type of person is in insatiable. They will always seek and accept help but never reach out to help you or put you first over their needs.
14.) A fake friend may offer help but only to have you help them in the future.
This is the common misconception of a great friend. However, this is the worst kind of fake friend because it fools a ton of people on a daily basis.
The fact remains, that this kind of person is the most untrustworthy, unreliable and deceiving person to have in your contact list because for them, they will use and abuse you to get what they want and it will get worse as time progresses.
The relationship is only there for a benefit for them and not for you, however this friendship that may feel very much like one, takes an art and a methodical approach to handle these kinds of relationships.
If you run into this kind of friendship, ensure you apply your standards, and let it be known, tell them how you feel, and make sure you learn for sure that it isn’t what it seems like, if it is; either end the relationship or use them for what you need if there is any and sever the friendship immediately. #Harsh
15.) A fake friend always wants benefits.
Now have you ever heard of the saying, “a man only wants one thing”? In most cases, 92% of the time it is indeed true. But the same is true for women. While it may not be sex that they are after, they are indeed after something.
Benefits does not have to be about sex. It could be something that they attach pleasure to, whether it be physical, mental, spiritual or emotional. None the less it can still be measured as a way to spot a fake friend. Don’t get them mistaken.
16.) A fake friend is someone who tries hard.
As humans we like to over excel in everything that we do. We love to go above and beyond any never settle for anything less. We are creatures who seek to win by a mile.
In some instances, it is not a bad thing. However, that could be very bad in other cases. In this particular instance, trying too hard to win friends over is not a way Dale Carnegie suggests. Have you ever considered reading that book? It has great ideas.
However, when people try too hard, it is mainly because they intend to seek impressions by other people to uplift them and make them feel good. They seek to fit in by standing out through excellence. Often times these people use this as an escape goat of being less than, because without the perception of being an over achiever, they might be thought of as average.
As a person who is trying hard to be your friend, could very well end up being fake, or even worse, clingy, creepy or needy because it is not who they are to the core. Either way, avoid these fake people.
17.) A fake friend always dresses to impress.
Now this may not always be the case, but because of the way the world is, fashion has become a huge influence in hiding people’s identity. People wear name brands because they wish to represent and adopt the status symbol of that name, which increases their influence, rather than represent their own.
These kinds of people are toxic and damage your inner peace, morals standards and beliefs, as they oftentimes influence you to change you into something that you are not. Stick to your gut, represent yourself by being humble and never change who you are to something you were not born to be. You’ll start attracting real friends rather than fakes.
18.) A fake friend clings to others when in public.
You’ll be able to tell in a group of people who is the realest and who is the fakest. Most people would believe the person who is closed off, to themselves, shy and quiet, looking to be in the group to fit in would be the fake clingy person.
But in reality, the saying stays true. The loudest person in the room is the fakest. While at times this may not always be true, I’d say about 0.02% of the times, more times than none, it is.
Why? Reason being, those who are loud and controls the group, needs to be around others to make them operate. Like a car who needs gas or oil, so does the loud person who needs a group that pays attention to them.
Avoid the loudest person in the room and strike a conversation with the quietest and you’ll make a best friend faster than befriending the loudest person who has a ton of people giving them a ton of attention.
19.) A fake friend has no interest in your passions or goals in life.
Here is the thing. Fake people have no passions or goals of their own because they are too busy trying to be someone else who has the passions and goals.
If there had never been a conversation regarding your passions or goals between you two, that is because they are a F.A.F. They also could care less, or don’t have the interest subconsciously to even ask you about them. This person has not yet scratched the surface of being a real passionate, genuine friend.
20.) A fake friend has a weak hand shake.
This has been a fundamental behavior to making a first impression since handshakes were invented by the Greeks in the 5th century. The force behind a handshake, shows the cognitive awareness level of their character, intention, and leadership of being a decent human being.
As there has been studies shown about the differences a firm handshake makes between a brittle handshake; the result is clear, that a soft or non-existent handshake is a pure indication that this person does not have any human decency to grant the respect that you deserve or has not yet learned what it takes to make a solid first impression of dependability. A beginner’s mistake. Definition of immaturity.
21.) A fake friend has a weak hug.
This goes hand in hand with the firm handshake example. Now these are not sure ways to spot a fake friend, however it is a sign to look for to find out through human behavior if they are reliable or not.
If they are strong or weak, a follower or leader, a person who is socially awkward or easygoing. Now it always depends on the kind of person you are of course, but for starters, human body language is your Third Eye.
It is a secret untapped way one can sense things that are not directly given to them. No one is ever going to say “Hey, sorry I’m a fake friend, I also don’t hug because it shows that I care”.
You have to get to know the person and feel them out, pick them apart if you wish to stay clear from them. It is important that you understand everyone tries to make the friends list, and these things are essential to watch out for in making good long term friends and spotting fake ones.
22.) A fake friend has elevated voice patterns that may seem non-genuine.
We all have different voices. This is a fact. But the problem is, people sort of gravitate more to someone who has a softer voice, or a sexy voice or a digestible tonality.
By having this gift, it can be used for good or bad. That is the choice of the person. All based on morals and values of course, determines the character and nature of that person. Ever heard the phrase, never trust a pretty face?
Looks and or voices can be deceiving. Just because it looks good does not mean it tastes good. Often times, good looking things has its defects, and flaws that you cannot see. Being fake is one very likely possibility.
23.) A fake friend can be spotted by the way they express talking to you.
Everyone at the end of the day has an agenda and intention. With that being said, analyze how the person is treating you and talking to you, if they are using the same techniques, the same traits, or the same behaviors explained here in this article, then they are most likely a fake friend. Do not be so gullible or naive.
24.) A fake friend has no intentions to develop themselves for the better.
People who have no ambitions of their own tend to not be the best friend option for you. They may be good company, however, they are terrible long-term friends. They may influence you to do bad things that don’t serve you, your goals, vision, and mission in life or your mental health so be careful and tread softly.
25.) A fake friend never takes your advice.
These people are the worst. While everyone loves to be the go-to, or the expert in something, those who do not wish to learn or take your advice are not great friends because they believe you are not worth learning from or they have chosen not to depend on you for their growth in whatever it is that you are saying at that point in time.
You don’t need them. Remove them from your life.
26.) A fake friend never takes responsibility for his or her actions.
As it is human nature to deny anything that you have done wrong, or have failed on, those who never assume responsibility are afraid of exposing their vulnerable sides.
They wish to uphold a high standard to show the world the pretty side, but never want to show the flaws and imperfections. These are called F.A.F’s also known as Fake Ass Friends.
27.) A fake friend always wants you to do what they want you to do.
Okay, now to force people to do something is one thing, this could be a great thing especially if you are one that needs a little push. We all need to be forced out the bird’s nest.
I must say this disclaimer, all these behaviors and lists of how to spot a fake friend are not for every human being on earth, as there are 7 billion different personalities, however, a general rule of thumb is if it seems noticeable, or feels like peer pressure, or even uncomfortable, that is when you know you have encountered a fake friend.
Why? Because it checks off a box in their hidden agenda that you are doing something that only benefits them. That is the pure definition or a non-genuine friend.
28.) A fake friend who has authority, in most cases is not your friend.
There are 3 types of people in life. Those who create the law, those who enforce the law, and those who don’t follow it. All these types are considered to be fake friends and they also cross intersect.
They have morals and standards to live by which are or are not influenced by the laws. In other words, people who claim to be good, live in good standard according to law, but not to self or others.
This is being fake. Living to those standards but breaking it for yourself or for others shows the lack of discipline to uphold the truth and law of life. Tricky. We’ll go into this Law at a later point on another blog. This one is deep. But never trust these people.
29.) A fake friend never checks on you during the week or month, or every holiday consistently.
The key is consistence. There are many who mean well, with excellent intentions.
They have a plan and a goal to check on a good buddy, but fail to do so, this is bad for business. Or worse, they may check on you once, and never again. Someone who cannot be consistent in delivering the badge of being an awesome friend is not a real friend but a fake one indeed.
30.) A fake friend posts too often on social media.
Research collected by a group of social media analysts in 2020, showed that those who spend more time on social media than off social media proved that they are hiding behind the scenes to avoid being someone that they don’t have to be, “Themselves”.
Ouch that hurts, spend some time off social media and be yourself again. Your true authentic self where what you say online would never normally be said in person. Authenticity is simplicity.
31.) A fake friend who is vulnerable could be fake.
The moment you have been waiting for. As you may be witness to it, being vulnerable can make you do things you normally wouldn’t do. This includes attaching to someone to make you feel something other than what you are feeling at that time, vulnerable.
Often times you will find someone seeking attention, seeking forgiveness, seeking approval and the list goes on. What you will notice is that these people are not being themselves. They are being persuaded by the idea of comfort, of that which would make them feel different, rather than themselves.
Spotting this is noticeable, and obvious, often is related to desperate acts or behaviors, which in turn leads to fake ass friends as a result.
We even have a video for you on fake friends.
Youtube Video on Fake Friends
Final Thoughts about Spotting Fake Friends
We spoke about the ways of how fake ass friends operate, where they come from, facts about fake friends, how to spot a fake and more than 5 signs of fake friends. Now let’s put you to the test.
Send me an email, and comment below, tell me a time that you were fake and I will tell you my worst time. Fair trade? From an author to you, I’m ready for the challenge. The question is, are you ready to be real?
I challenge you to Share and Pin this post all around you on every social media platform, this will create a barrier, and a boundary online and in person around you everywhere, and illustrates that you now know what a fake friend looks like a mile away. SO KEEP AWAY! No potential fake friend will ever dare to cross your boundary.