We discovered that our community had some problems in the bedroom. So we pulled a survey and asked 1000 people in our group, exactly what people are doing to help their sex life and increase happiness in their sexual relationships. Everyone chipped in sharing bedroom ideas and sex tips that we can use to help negate any issues in regards to someone, mostly their partner, not being in the mood for sex. You will be surprised to what were the 9 most common suggestions where everyone agreed.
Bedroom Tip #1
Use Props
Buy and use a little stuffed animal octopus that has a happy face on the outside of it that enables you to flip him inside out. It is great because it helps to notify someone when you are sad or happy. Many therapists use it as a tactic with their clients to show their emotions without saying it. How you would use it, in this case; when the one with the lower sex drive is in the mood, change the octopus to happy so that spontaneous sexy time may occur. When they are not in the mood then they put the octopus in a sad state. It lets both people know when one is ready or not.
You can also use other tactics like cards, candles, other animals, or cues to help with this process of showing one person’s feelings about any particular matter. Great to communicate emotions.The best sex tips of the year!
Bedroom Idea #2
Don’t Be Sensitive
Do not get offended, instead, spend a few minutes and work on intimacy by talking about what you will do to each other next time. In fact, if you talk about what you will do through the week and plan it, there will be more excitement and sexual arousal, as well as acceptance. This promotes a sense of healing from any offensiveness and illustrates growth and anticipation for when the time comes. Next time you will not get into this issue. The goal? Atleast a lot less often.
Bedroom Advice #3
Manifest Reality
You can always use your imagination and strangle your snake or pet the cat. Of course, masturbation is always a great way to release your stress. Think about your partner and get in the mood. Perhaps your partner can join you.
Sex Tips #4
Let’s Roll The Dice
So depends on the situation – let’s focus on a common situation where you have no sexual desire when before you used to while your partner wants to have sex, consequently leading to guilt/shame/questioning/confusion. Sometimes we’re okay, nothing stressful in particular’s going on however, you’re going through a period of spiritual growth. Going within and deeply healing every layer of your being may be taxing on the physical body. The level of exhaustion, bone level exhaustion, an exhaustion you can’t explain – only to others who’ve experienced these types of growth periods.
My sex tip or advice for those with disinterest or overwhelmed by spiritual growth: Go slow and give yourself the permission to accept this is where you are in your journey. Acceptance of this helps to open thoughts as to why you’re not wanting sexual or physical intimacy. Things come up! Could range from working on your inner childhood to recovering from any traumatic events in adulthood it’s okay to communicate to your partner where you’re at if you’re feeling safe to share as much as you feel comfortable with. Let’s say you’ve come to understand your attachment style in childhood and how your adult attachment style is present.
It’s an opportunity for growth to say, “look, I’ve been working on accepting some tough things that happened in my childhood. I feel comfortable sharing with you [event or parts of your understanding thus far, etc…] and want to share my vulnerability to feel seen, heard, and validated; or where I’m at emotionally and why I’m not feeling comfortable with physical intimacy right now. Being HONEST about where you are and communicating it with your partner leads to…Having the guilt/shame be lifted. It may not entirely lift and there may be a workaround for how you accept/forgive yourself in your own time.
However, just saying it out loud opens the conversation. There are too many topics that could lead to this however here are some small skills re-building for physical intimacy: Address the situation because sexual intimacy is important for our mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual bodies. Ask yourself what you’re comfortable with: Setting aside some time to just cuddle with no pressure to have sex. Write about how this feels. Where do you feel? Evaluate the energy surrounding the feeling – comfortable/uncomfortable; bored; loved; safe; tired; physically trying to put space (pull away without it being noticeable); whatever you feel, remember the sensation and how your body responded.
Do this with each level of intimacy and communicate back after you’ve had some time at that level. Be honest and empathize with their feelings as well. When you’re both in love and want that intimacy, the work will be worthwhile. Assess where you can make compromises, what your hard boundaries are, and how frequently you’d like to practice physical intimacy. Now there may be an instance where you absolutely love the person you’re with and you want them to grow as quickly as you are…and you’re finding the crushing feeling of being held back due to circumstances, duties, and responsibilities.
There are some questions to ask that only you know the truth about. Living in misery because the levels of incompatibilities are affecting your relationship in a negative way, what lesson are you being asked to learn by your soul. The heart and soul converge in your heart chakra – in other terms, in the middle of your chest, there will be a feeling there where you know the answer. Open up to your guides – even if you think you cannot.
Literally, ask aloud your question and what major, cannot miss signs you’d like to notice. It may take a while for that answer…it’ll be very clear. Accept whatever the answer(s) is and follow the advice if it is or is not aligned with your path. No matter what, you’re where you’re supposed to be, learning lessons all the time. Feel the love as it wants to come out and play!
Listen to yourself and your team, be present and mindful of what’s going on, if this is a pattern (a lesson to be learned) soak up what’s happening and how you’re responding towards everything. Please, seek help if you need to! Know, it may be temporary whilst going through a growth period, or there’s something more going on. Love, always. That’s the best on sex tips that I have.
Sex Tips #5
Openness
Be open, communicate your wants and desires, and be verbal about what you are not willing to do and what you are willing to do. Communication is key. By being upfront and honest, you can go far and achieve anything that you desire.
Sex Life Advice #6
Don’t Hire a judge
Do not judge. There are a lot of factors that affect the sex drive. Someone can be too open, not open enough, balanced, have different values and perceptions, be stressed, have bad timing, go through an Awakening, etc. Talk with your partner to figure out the root cause. If it bothers you, then you have some shadow work to do. If it bothers the partner, they have shadow work to do.
Through vulnerable communication and acceptance (you discern what is acceptable for you… do not judge what is acceptable for others)… you will remain together and work through it or end the relationship with acceptance and gratitude.
Bedroom Tips #7
Love Is Patient Love Is Kind… Is it Really Though
Be patient. By being patient, your arousal levels will increase and the next time sex is offered, you will have a huge orgasm. Worth the wait?
Best Bedroom Advice #8
Ask Anyway, and You Shall Receive
Ask your partner what can you do to help, then listen. Perhaps if you can do something that contributes to their love meter, then that person will be emotionally stimulated which in turn, becomes sexual.
Sex Tip #9
Is Anal Possible?
So say you are into anal but your partner isn’t .. at least you communicated what you are willing to do and what you are not willing to do, then go from there. It’s perfectly fine to put up sexual boundaries. And if the person still thinks that you are not enough because of those boundaries then there is the door. Be honest about your intentions.
What are your thoughts?
Now, these sex tips came directly from our intelligently wise Facebook community. Roughly 51 answers are listed. If you want to see the whole list join the Facebook inner circle on Good Self Healing Habits, and check out what they had to say! You will get a kick out of them! And great tips from experts too!
Final Thoughts and A Challenge
It is okay to not feel in the mood to have sex. Oftentimes, our partners are the complete opposite of one another. Hence the phrase, opposites attract! Therefore with knowing this fact, be sure to be patient and learn about one another. Learn about the needs, the dos, and the don’ts. Also, research a ton of sex tips and you will be wise. Practicing this exercise will prevent any frustration or friction when it comes to having sex with one another. Both parties will always be on the same page.
Here’s your challenge. For one week, ask your partner these 5 questions and the next week go for it and write a comment below telling what was the response.
Question 1. What is okay for me to do that will always turn you on without notice?
Question 2. What times work best for you?
Question 3. What is your fantasy?
Questions 4. What can I do that will help you get in the mood when the time comes?
Question 5. Would you prefer to plan our sex days?
Once you ask these questions, you will have a better understanding of what will work for each other whenever the other person is not in the mood. Just try it.
If you got any value from this post on sex tips, or if you found anything helpful, let’s help our friends who need a little help in the bedroom. Share this post online and watch the response you’ll get on the post we got 100’s from doing so!
Until Next Time
Keep Self Healing
C.J. Perry